forgiveness can be a very loaded word, and one of the worst things you can say to alot of victims, survivors is ‘you must forgive’, for any reason, but especially with the added, ‘so that you can heal’, tho i now have a different understanding of what that means, i would still not say it, instead i advocate letting go from within, the for me ugly hatred, fear, and darkness within me, added to my guilt, and letting go of it, firstly for my own sake, and healing, did ultimately mean that i know longer planned my fathers’ murder……..but until i had expressed the anger, and pain, enough to begin to full myself with light, when people said you must forgive to me, i would nearly burst into flames, and hate myself some more and that person, and that was also because of how and why they said it, which was relayed with looks, attitude, and body language, distancing, avoiding eye contact, shifting, and this kind of conversation is breaking the taboo of talking about incest, child rape, molestation, wherever it has occurred, the taboo is squarely that none should steal the innocence and purity of our children. NONE, and the light is now firmly and increasingy shining on to them, may they find forgiveness, for themselves, but they wil as my good friend Tammy said yesterday, feel the fear and dread of ‘times up’, I take no pleasure in that, we don,t need to revert to barbaric acts, that will ony feed darkness, abuse cannot heal abuse, nor hatred , hate, which abuse is borne of, since mine released, i cannot tolerate it……and can only focus on my love of children and the dream of their true protection from evil acts, as my guiding force…..i don,t have the answers to this and am delighted to be witnessing new connections and sharing of info, support and collaborating. Thanks for this blog, sharing…:)
Forgiveness. What an amazing word. What an honorable act. What an indescribable sensation when once we receive it and too, when we dispense it.
I’ve struggled a long time with these words. The reason is simple but tragic. When the very organization that is supposed to teach you the meanings behind these words refuses to protect you. When they even go so far as to take aim and target you as being the person at fault. When in truth, you are not only NOT to blame, but you are the victim of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a minister.
When this is the reality, it becomes increasingly difficult to find any forgiveness for those who allow it to happen, for those who cover it up, for those who choose to protect the predator rather than an innocent child. When they make this choice repeatedly, they victimize and re-victimize…
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ShevaBurton. Cross of Change Blog 