So many amazing people, doing so much yet today a woman is beaten USA …….

And I mean legally, or almost, the case isn’t over yet……  But her abuser is a powerful and influential man, whose lawyer plays golf with him………  this is going on everywhere to.

Some incest victims/survivors talk of most of their family being abused, and of other people in the community also being either involved or colluding in villages and towns everywhere.   I hadn’t known that Ronald Reagans’ son had been raped, and more, and gone on to write and join forces with others to attempt to protect children. Read the article below about Michael Reagans account)

There are many brilliant teams, working hard, and many doing things more quietly too.    This article and the conversation i just had with the woman in USA, brings it home once more, keep going, keep sharing, keep shedding light, keep helping solutions, to be shared so they can flourish, each person we reach and help can blossom into being so powerful, once they can shuck off the shame, fear, and dark imaginings that childhood trauma leaves behind.

With sexual abuse, it then has gone to our deepest most sacred level of our being, and that is why, i,m passionate about letting out the darkness, letting it go, it is not ours, but theirs.    By doing that and encouraging our light to shine, we help to fan the light in others, and remind them that it is still there,  the problem i,ve mostly found, is that alot of healers, therapists, and people generally, cannot cope with what can be a tremendous release of anger, fear, grief.

It frightens any who have not found ways to release them.       Speaking with Actors and Musicians, they tell me, that they have been able to release emotions, through these mediums, and not needed to do it in therapy.      Some of my paintings were very dark, i used to just make shapes with paint, and then splat about and smear, one turned into a giant penis the colour of red clay, and with horns,  i had by then in hypno been asked what was inside me, and i ended up muttering, feeling very young, the devil a penis, and then this painting appeared……………   i binned it when i didn,t need to acknowledge, feel and release hatred inside me, that i didn,t know i carried, a few friends, were totally shocked, but for me, by then i really believed that i was saving my life and probably cancer, i also detoxed and used lots of various meditations, like ‘shadow queen’,  oils, chrystals, and was working with holistic massage.  The changes in me were incredible, and i journalled alot.   Journeyed alot to, in meditation, trance and during massage.

I believe that as my unconcious mind was able to express and clear out all of the memories i had needed to block to survive, that there was then room for my mind to open, and unlocking ancient knowledge, tapping into higher conciousness, mass too, and while crippled, and having to lie down most of the day, i felt blessed to have the ability, and time to use the power of my thoughts to create my healing.     Well since then, as my life has been various snakes and ladders, have meant that i know have to begin again, and i will be sharing vlogs as i do, and happy to share with others that feel like joining in.

Self healing, gentle techniques, starting with breath.   Soon.   I didn,t know i was gonna write all of that, but it might explain to people why i,d like to get to stonehenge, this weekend 🙂

I,m not put off, but happy to be a part of it………   at the moment the Walk Against Corruption UK is fairly small and gentle…….  perhaps it will gain momentum by the time it reaches London.  Facebook page:

gathering camp 13th/14th July 2013

gathering camp 13th/14th July 2013


Anyway, back to the USA  there are resources and inspiration, things to participate in, if it,s in your area……..   and remember, even if it looks as though there is lots happening, on the ground, many , too many are suffering injustice or abuse daily, right now, with still no where to turn, but a facebook group.

To begin with, we need to let them have choices of resources asap.    I hope groups will stop, being cliquey, and hold members prisoner, or some of the emotional blackmail, i,ve seen go down, or the disgusting levels some infighting gets too.     Yes there are people on this walk, who i suspect could be controlled opposition, if they are, there is nothing i can do to stop it, except be myself , and i,m not controllable 🙂

I still think it is another form of light shedding, and as all are welcome, it can be shown uncontrollably, it enough independents, get on this…………………    me i,ll be there to speak about the whole picture as someone who networks globally, and often still in secret groups, with people going through alot , right now, up to campaigners, also globally, sharing news, ideas, and getting to know each other.      I have never stopped talking about abuse, wherever i have been, and even those words, and convos over years of me not being an active campaigner, were of value.

I saw a status today, ‘We don,t need more heroes’,  my thought was…………. ‘there are so many, shame so many want to be the ONE, or or ONE LEADING GROUP,  so that it becomes more about them, than the core issue, and the people who are in need, right now, still falling through the net.

I got to wondering, is it part of our makeup commonly, does being traumatised and abused, make us over compensate, by needing to be heroic to a level that can work against, others, ultimately?   I know for me this was an issue, as a child i was bullied, ostracised, i smelt, and my mum chopped my hair off to make me ugly, and my clothes sucked………..  and i probably did seem strange, secretive, i don,t know……….. but my dreams were full of things like the school burning down and me able to fly and rescue them, but like all superheroes, they never knew, if only they did, they,d be nice to me…………..  grief as i write this, i realise that , that is exactly how i felt, back when i,d had my first son at 19, and pined for my mum, and was sure that if only she knew, she,d be there, grieving, but also feeling noble, because i hadn,t told her, and gave her up……….sacrificed myself, not realising that that was what she had done, it was to be a further 15 years before she snorted that it didn,t matter, and that she,d always known, anyway……………. well that was a massive shock, to me.   I was still yet to find out how many would then close ranks.   How many would label me vindictive, when i decided to take a civil case forward, which i still couldn,t while i thought it would kill my mum to know.

2 years of gruelling reliving, statements, and trauma, the House of Lords put a stop, to the first case of its kind, by changing the statute of limitations, now, any doubts for me, that there really was a conspiracy of silence, and a wall of denial, protecting the ring, that i knew because i had been friends with victims of the elites, that are the ones practising what we call SRA.     I know from many real sources exactly what went on and why.         I knew then, and it was the reason for our first public march & rally, 20 years ago, i could see no other way, then publically displaying our truth, and we did.     Walk with us, i asked, if you simply want child abuse to stop.   Amongst all of the corruption, it lives, the arms, drugs, all big dealings, all big industries, all child protection institutions & services, all influential professions, contain those that link and practice dark , hidden arts, to various degrees.

Another reason for my joy at the stonehenge gathering, do be part of a group of lightworkers, and to alert lightworkers around the world, to send love and light to Stonehenge this weekend, how ever you choose to, please send your prayers, thoughts, and help.

I hope to be able to walk with them some of the way, if not, i will be watching for news and sharing it, as i am with Matty McVarish on Road To Change EU,  unable to ignore the two different  walks, both by people who worked at the BBC, both ignored so far by UK media, one likely to be highly ridiculed, but we survivors of abuse are used to that, for whatever reason, and neither will stop me, from sharing them,   so that those who choose to can join in if they wish…………….   divisions, though are still abound.   As are those determined to cause them.   🙂    I have also the pleasure of sharing our upswelling against the same enemies they have faced, with many actions, through Kevin Annett, Whisper’n Thunder, Idle no More.   As well as Australian forgotten children groups, much the same corruption has infected our world, we are many in various ways, determined to make it stop.   Links below:  or Google Road To Change EU, childabusejointhedots, Walk Against Corruption UK, as well as those mentioned above.

Childhelp, Erin Merryn and Michael Reagan team up to protect children

Childhelp is part of a coalition who are dedicated to making every child in this country safe from predators.  Photo: Childhelp/Facebook

WASHINGTON, July 9, 2013 —  There is a coalition of heroes who have dedicated their lives to protecting the innocence of children and to rescuing the vulnerable from predators like Jerry Sandusky. That coalition includes the organization Childhelp, the son of former president Ronald Reagan and child abuse survivor Michael Reagan, and the author, child abuse survivor and advocate Erin Merryn.

Childhelp ( is an organization that was created by two women whose boundless compassion could not ignore the tragedy that unfolded around them.

SEE RELATED: Children of Domestic Violence: A black and blue fairytale

Sara Buckner (O’Meara) and Yvonne Lime (Fedderson) were Hollywood actresses who met on the set of Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet.

In 1959 during a goodwill tour visiting U.S. Troops in Japan, the two young women happened upon a group of eleven young children wandering the streets after a typhoon. The women quickly learned that the children were those of American troops who had fought during the Korean War. They also learned that the children had been turned away from every orphanage due to their mixed heritage.

Sara and Yvonne, led by their hearts, had no choice and led the beleaguered children back to their hotel room where they fed and sheltered them. They began a relentless search to find a place for these young orphans, and when word finally reached them of one woman who was caring for mixed heritage orphans, they immediately sought her out. What they found was a one-room shack overflowing with those who had been cast aside by society. The woman, Kin Horuchi, agreed to take the eleven orphans in and as the word spread she was soon caring for one hundred Japanese-American children.

Sara and Yvonne could have returned to their lives as Hollywood actresses, but at this point they did something extraordinary. They returned home and began raising money to build the orphanages needed to care for these forgotten children, eventually building four that changed the lives of countless children.

SEE RELATED: Protect New York Children with Erin’s Law

Japan had been a life changing experience for Sara and Yvonne, and since that day in 1959, they have come to symbolize everything that is good in this world and defined the phrase “selfless dedication to a cause.”

In 1959 Sara and Yvonne founded International Orphans, an organization dedicated to finding homes for the lost and forgotten. They have been tireless advocates for children, building orphanages in Vietnam during the brutal war in that country in the 1960s, They took part in the airlift to transport children from Vietnam to adoptive homes in America after the war ended. After hearing a speech by Sara and Yvonne, First Lady Nancy Reagan enlisted their help to combat an epidemic that was sweeping the United States.

A study by the Senate Subcommittee on Children and Youth reported the rising incidence of child abuse in the United States. Nancy Reagan, a woman of great compassion and stature, immediately leapt into action. After she approached Sara and Yvonne the two quickly took up the fight to save America’s children from the tragedy of child abuse. They have been boundless advocates for victims and survivors of child abuse and were instrumental in the education and prevention of the stolen innocence and vandalized hopes and dreams of our children.

Michael Reagan ( has spent the last twenty-five years of his life raising awareness about the scourge of child abuse.

The son of former president Ronald Reagan and Actress Jane Wyman, he is the Founder and Chairman of Reagan Legacy Foundation, New York Times Bestselling Author, Townhall Columnist and Former Talk Radio Host.

In his book, “Twice Adopted,” Reagan courageously shares his struggle to overcome his trauma as a victim of child abuse and child pornography. He has used his experience to help educate and empower parents and children so that no child has to suffer as he did. It is through his courage and that of Sara and Yvonne that they have teamed up to protect our children from predators through the 1-2-3 formula. The first component of this is the implementation of Erin’s law created from the courage and determination of author and advocate Erin Merryn.

Erin Merryn was a young girl when her innocence was stolen after being molested by her cousin and a friend’s uncle.

Trapped in a prison of silence, Erin dealt with her pain by writing in a small journal she was given as a present. One day her sister confided in Erin that the same cousin had molested her. Erin’s need to protect her sister eclipsed the pain she felt over her own abuse and she immediately confided in her parents. The friend’s uncle and her cousin were  arrested and brought to justice, but like Sara, Yvonne and Michael Reagan, her life embarked on a new course with a determination to save all children from the trauma she endured.

In 2005 her diary was turned into the book, “Stolen Innocence,” and its pages have inspired countless victims and survivors to break their silence and that even on their worst days it would eventually get better.

In 2010 Erin Merryn helped craft “Erin’s law,” which implements child abuse education in grades Pre-K through eighth grade. She is tireless in her quest to have Erin’s law passed by every state. Erin is currently fighting to protect the children of New York State and is awaiting a vote by the New York State Assembly in January 2014.

The second component of the 1-2-3 formula is the implementation of Childhelp’s Speak Up Be SafeTM (SUBS) premier curriculum for grades one thru six.

Through education and empowerment of parents and children, the program combats the ever-growing threat to our children from cyberbullying, Internet predators and “sexting.” The final component is the utilization of technology such as smart phones as aids in the education and prevention of child abuse.

It has been a year this month that Jerry Sandusky was convicted of molesting young boys. Many thought that when Sandusky was locked away we had eliminated the threat to our children from sexual predators. Sandusky was only one of thousands that roam our streets today. Cloaked in the disguise of respectability, these stealth predators are sharks on land searching 24/7 for the next innocent and vulnerable child to target.

The conviction of Jerry Sandusky was not an end but a beginning, a beginning to a war that has been hidden for many years. His conviction is the Pearl Harbor in the war against child abuse that has been raging all around us, fought by brave heroes like Sara, Yvonne, Michael and Erin.

Nationally, one in four girls and one in six boys are victims of child abuse. There are over forty-two million survivors of child abuse in the world today.

According to a Centers for Disease Control study, the lifetime costs for the victims of child abuse reported in one year is $124 billion. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reports there are currently 500,000 registered sex offenders in the United States, and typically 100,000 of those are unaccounted for.

Other pedophiles are not on records or in databases. Pedophiles like Jerry Sandusky walk silently among us, and Sandusky showed us just how well they can disguise themselves.

The United States Government Accountability Office reports that, “More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.” The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families Administration on Children, Youth and Families Children’s Bureau estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.

Research has also shown that each victim of child abuse has to tell an average of seven adults before they are believed, and those who make it to the seventh adult are few in number.

As a young boy I prayed every day for help in escaping the child abuse I endured. Today I wake up each day and fight to educate and empower parents and children so that not one more child suffers the hell I had to endure. I am honored to work alongside Sara, Yvonne, Michael, Erin and everyone at Childhelp to stop this scourge. If I can save just one child from a lifetime of suffering my purpose in this life will have been fulfilled.

Please join Sara, Yvonne, Michael, Erin and me as we fight to save the most precious treasure we have, our children. To report child abuse or if you are a victim or survivor of child abuse and need help call Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800- 4-A-CHILD. You can also find more information and how you can help by going to the Childhelp website (

For more information about Erin’s law click here ( and for more information on Michel Reagan you can go to his website here (

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See facebook page, or twitter feed for links to lots including all mentioned here   to the right of the page, or follow, please click buttons, so others, can be empowered by freely shared information, of the many groups/campaigns/causes, and please help make this year the 20th Anniversary of the Public March & Rallies to stop child abuse…………..   with the Real Full Stop……  please any celebs, feel welcome to help put together a massive fundraiser, concerts/art diplays/shows/world recording…………  lets direct funds to a central core team with the knowledge, integrity, and ability, and connections, to make sure it is used to effectively, and swiftly help the victims and survivors of child abuse, who are struggling right now………….  it was all in the original dream 1988.

No one told me visions could take so long to manifest……….lol………. but along the way, so many miraculous things have occurred and resonated, and shown me, that it will happen this year.     Somehow.

I appreciate so much the many i have dialogued with over the years, not always often, but always deeply, sharing what the real and deep and huge truthes are.   Validating each other.  Thankyou, it has all meant alot.    🙂

Road To Change ~ See Matty off 31st May, walk the first mile or more of 10,000 ! UK

HEY PEOPLE, SOME LIGHT AMONGST THE DARKNESS, LOOK WHAT MATTY’S BEEN DOING & IS NOW UNDERTAKING ROUND EUROPE OVER 2YRS………..LONDON 31st setting of on 10,000 walk, with bagpipes ………! i,m going………wave him off, give him a cheer ! he,s doing this for me and all the others that can,t and will be showing his film at venues en route, which he hasn,t got set up, so take alook at his route and see if you can open a venue, your home, or help and Join The Dots, mean time wants to create events and film showings here. so help us do that and we,ll be sharing his updates and news, on the way, as he will be able to show at his venues what we are up to, magic …..:)      HE,S DOING THIS FOR ME……….GONNA PROBS BE MY CHANT….as well as a bit THANKYOU !!!!

Join The Dots Campaign


                                                                                                 The Route over 18months

Now for some good news,  and a treat for victims & survivors of child sexual abuse.

Matthew McVarish is setting off at the end of this month on a massive 10,000 mile walk from the National Theatre.

First stop, Crawley………news will be updated as it comes in, as this is evolving, what a step into the unknown, i value that so much, it is the same as when as victims of child sexual abuse, we begin to heal, and why it takes so much courage, it is a step into the unknown journey ahead………….Big respect to all of us, and Matty……….many will understand this.   Many will do amazing things to help him along his way, it,s gonna be an amazing adventure, and one way or another we can all take part, some of us from the comfort of our home, just by sharing and spreading…

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