SILENT SCREAMING….

I suffer with chronic fatigue, pstd symptoms and chronic back pain, only managed by connections, with wholistic health practitioners, and the use of herbs, made worse by those in the nhs, and the only recovery i have is paid for as i can, yet the same system that used my ill health, including mental, to try and take my child, now expects me to travel and be assessed for work….. which i can’t. No doubt my online presence may be used to show i could work, well then pay me to do what i do, help us get funding, and then i can continue. I will make no apology for being online in this time, which has always been patchy for the above reasons, perhaps it would be better had i played games or bingo.
Obviously not everyone with M.E. symptoms were abused as children, but a large number of survivors of child sexual abuse, report fatigue symptoms within groups. I empathise with much of this blog, partly because i have experienced much of the same. At one time feeling, and treated as if i was in valid, was hard to bear. Many over time have turned on me, that could have encouraged, supported or helped in even small ways. Anyway i,m struggling to even fill in forms at the moment, and my back pain is as bad as it gets and worsening, so don’t expect too much of me online for a while, but there are things i’m involved in, that are best dealt with behind scenes, anyway, for now.
Be as well as possible. And a big thankyou to all of the healers that have helped me to function more than my GP told me, in his words i could never expect to stand unaided again. That i do is by your and my efforts and engagement with what is mostly ridiculed by our ‘health service’, just as people are abused within our ‘care’ services. Thankyou to the weeds and herbs, flowers, trees, and to all the teachers who helped me find empowering and powerful techniques and how to work ethically. So i guess the easy option is just to send the psyche notes to them, and they surely prove i am too nuts for a job, let alone my true incapacity. Thanks too the internet bullies & trolls, which have been noted and currently watched, as it has happened so many times, both realtime and online, that it is evidence, that no matter how far i have come, bullying and further abuse, still has an adverse effect on me, which i am not ashamed of, either. I feel. But as ever out of what seems dark and bad, can come good. and a new opportunity to shed more light. Sheva Thankyou Baraclebum for expressing so clearly what i,m too tired to say for myself, and i’m sure others will identify and empathise, and those not understanding, get a real feel for what can happen, for me, becoming unreliable, was one of the hardest, i do warn new friends these days, if i remember, or explain the first time i have to back out of something, i had hoped to do, these days, i have to live on might, but its rarer and rarer for me to get to anything. So thankyou and be as gentle with you as possible. 🙂 But that’s why I can clickalot and seealot and too 🙂 I do what I can and enjoy it as much as possible, made easier by the wit and consistant steady hand of EC at Hoaxtead, the provocative and effective MKDs and the trolls who only do it to scammers, fraudsters and worse like the SRA panic mongers….now more of us in the survivor movement UK are able to speak out and withstand their vile attacks by supporting one another….. that’s how the grip and hold of those who wish us harm and harm to our children are youngsters are of no concern to soem motivators……. they need stopping now and prevented.
Click for quick video proving Brian Gerrish & fmotls, alot of racists & pervs and Badda is up for open mic, live debate most days on his channel Badda ification. He’s got Divvy Russell of White Pendragon shame caught out lying here, they know.

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