Well I,ve got this far, with finally nearly getting a website up and running, or is it a blog. Yes, to those who have followed my many clumsy techie mistakes, and problems, and how many times have I reported that soon, and then soon, well really soon, this time……………. Well, here we are. I,m so mind boggled, that I can,t think of what to write. There is plenty, to say, with recent happenings, in the world of survivors of child abuse, child sexual assualt, and on the other hand child ‘protection’. I have an insight into childrens’ services that I never expected to see. In the early 90,s, I like many other survivors who had woken up to the enormity, the shocking collusion, silence, denial, injustice, that no one, just no one, outside of our tiny groups, and secretive protective network, seemed to really get, was determined to try and make it stop.
So we marched, and rallied, for the first time publically, ;93, calling for child abuse to stop, calling for justice, and better child protection. We spelt out that it was happening en masse, and things began to change. Our secrecy, sheilded abusers. And as is obvious to more people now, not enough of us did/could, there has been an outcry by some, for this silence, but seriously, for some of us, the collusion within our families, is just as hard to breakthru as has been shown in any other arena, the catholic church, being an easy example, but really the abuse being shown at all, is down to us survivors being brave enough to break silence, rank, and sometimes our families in the process, or facing immense opposition within an organisation, to cover up, and protect it, rather than children.
But. There is something now, that is as sinister, to me, as back then, when I heard testimonials, from so many survivors of institutions.
It seems to me, that our outpourings of the damage and effects of child abuse, has in some arena,s been turned against us. For in terms of parents, perhaps struggling to cope, or in crisis, that turn to child services for help, and the social worker/team, become or are already aware that the parent was abused in childhood, any weaknesses, will be turned into mental health labels, fears of possible emotional or other future abuse, and then turned into an official report, by an ‘expert’, psychiatrist, who will now further stigmatise that parent, further isolate, blame, shame, chastise. I have seen many of these parents flounder under such stress and duress.
Now of course, not all parents that are losing children, to fostercare or adoption, have been abused, not all lose their children. They have been learning, in spite of not being helped effectively, or told rights, except by voluntary organisations, and online groups, but any parent, that ends up being assessed by a psychiatrist is really at the mercy of that experts’ opinion, and also of the social workers’ need to tick all boxes, and of course, now speed up the adoption process.
And of course, if there is real abuse, and no other option. Then of course, the child,s safety & wellbeing must come first. Some children need to be cared for, in foster or adoptive families, and some do have success stories, but there are also lots of testimonies, from grandparents/siblings/wider family, who have not been allowed to care for children, on the flimsiest of reasons. And if you begin to look at child protection, historically, globally, and currently. It really has proven itself UNFIT FOR PURPOSE.
The new quick fixes, do nothing to address or even fully acknowledge it,s failings. In my view, just papering over the cracks, sweeping the mess under the carpet, and hoping that by denying legal aid, judicial reviews, and cutting back on using ‘expert witnesses’, in family courts, that by speeding up the whole process, may then catch parents off guard, and because adoption is so final, and the heartbreak and trauma, so immense, hoping many will go away, defeated. Unable because of gagging laws, to even be able to fully tell their story, or seek redress from the perpetrators of this child abuse. Yes, indeed, it is child abuse, it scars children, families and communities, and is another hidden abuse.
That’s all for now. But I have volumes to share, and many links to show, and many new one,s to make. Much Love Sheva…….
And if the above is new to you, or you find it hard to believe, please do some research, it won,t be hard to find, facts, figures, testimonials, that are shocking to behold.